I know how to make the plan. I know how to prepare, steward, and trust God with the outcome, even when the answer hasn’t come yet. But somewhere along the way, I realized there was a part of trusting God I hadn’t learned how to practice. What do I do when the waiting continues, the outcome still hasn’t changed, and I am simply tired? I am learning that God is my refuge even here.
Raising two small children with less support than I would like, while trying to move toward more, has a way of wearing on a person in ways that are hard to name. Not one dramatic moment. Just a steady kind of depletion. And in that depletion, I noticed something about myself that I couldn’t ignore. My focus started to wander. My thoughts went in a dozen directions at once. And I found myself reaching for something, anything, that could give me a little relief from how heavy the season felt.
God is my refuge, Scripture tells me. But if I am honest, my instinct in exhaustion is rarely to run there first.
When Tiredness Starts Revealing Where I Run
There is something clarifying about being genuinely worn out. When I have energy and margin, it is easy to look put together, to say the right things, to seem like someone who has her spiritual life in order. But tiredness strips a lot of that away. It reveals, almost against my will, where I actually turn when I need relief.
For me, that has looked like reaching for more content to consume, scrolling toward something that would let my mind check out for a while. It has looked like reaching for food not because I was hungry, but because I wanted comfort. It has looked like imagining a different life, a different season, anywhere but the exact one I am actually living in right now.
None of those things are wrong in themselves. Rest is not wrong. Enjoying something is not wrong. Wanting circumstances to change is not wrong. But tiredness has a way of showing me what I am actually asking those things to do for me, and that is where I have had to get honest.
God Is My Refuge: Relief Is Not the Same as Refuge
This is the distinction I keep coming back to. God is my refuge, not simply another place I turn after everything else fails to satisfy. Relief is temporary. It gives a moment of ease, a break from the weight, a pause in the noise. Refuge is different. Refuge is where you actually belong when everything else is unsteady. Refuge is what your soul is safe in, not just distracted from.
Psalm 62:8 says it plainly:
“Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.”
Psalm 62:8 (KJV)
At all times. Not only in the moments I feel strong enough to trust Him well. Even in the tired, scattered, worn-thin moments. Especially then. And the verse doesn’t stop at trust. It says to pour out my heart before Him, honestly, the way I would pour out something I have been holding and can’t carry anymore.
The question I have had to start asking myself isn’t whether relief is allowed. It is what I am asking that relief to actually be. Am I enjoying something for a moment of ease, or am I quietly expecting it to give my soul what only God was ever meant to give?
What Am I Asking This Thing to Give Me?
This question has become more useful to me than simply trying to white-knuckle my way through tiredness or feel guilty for wanting comfort. Guilt was never the point. Discernment is.
When I reach for something, whether it is content, food, or the mental escape of imagining a different life, I am learning to pause and ask honestly what I am hoping it will do for me. Am I hoping it will numb the weight for twenty minutes, or am I hoping it will actually make me okay. The first is relief, and relief can have a legitimate place. The second is refuge, and only God can hold that place in my life.
Isaiah 26:3 speaks directly into this wandering focus:
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”
Isaiah 26:3 (KJV)
Perfect peace is tied to where the mind is stayed, not to how few problems remain. My mind wandering toward distraction when I am exhausted does not necessarily mean I do not trust God. But it can reveal where my attention tends to go when I am tired, and where I need to intentionally return it.
Jesus Says, Come Unto Me
What I love about how Jesus responds to weariness is that He never asks the exhausted person to get their act together first. He doesn’t say, prove your faith is strong enough, and then come. He says:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28 (KJV)
Labour and heavy laden. That is not a description reserved for people in crisis. That is an ordinary description of a lot of ordinary weeks. And His invitation isn’t conditional on having already found rest somewhere else first. It is the actual offer. Come as you are, tired, scattered, reaching for relief in whatever form you’ve been reaching for it. He offers the rest and refuge that temporary comforts were never meant to provide.
What Returning to Jesus Can Look Like Practically
This isn’t about achieving some perfect spiritual discipline where I never feel tired or never want comfort again. It looks much smaller than that, and much more repeatable.
It looks like noticing the moment I reach for something and asking honestly what I am hoping it will give me. It looks like pouring out my heart to God in the actual words I would use with a friend, not a polished prayer, just the truth of where I am. It looks like remembering that wanting my circumstances to change is not a lack of faith, it is simply being human, and bringing that desire to Him instead of quietly expecting something else to satisfy it.
What Obedience Looks Like This Week
Obedience here is not dramatic. It is noticing what you reach for first when the day feels heavy, and asking what you are expecting it to give you. It is pouring out your heart to God honestly instead of performing a version of yourself that has it together. It is remembering that relief has its place, but refuge belongs to God alone, and choosing to bring your tiredness to Him before you bring it anywhere else.
For the Mama Who Keeps Reaching for Relief
If this is a pattern you recognize in your own exhausted, ordinary weeks, the 5-Minute Faith Reset is a gentle place to start. A short, fully written printable with a KJV verse and a surrender prompt, made for the moments you notice yourself reaching for relief and want to bring it to God instead.
You Might Also Love
I Can Make the Plan, But I Am Not Lord Over the Outcome: What Proverbs 16:9 Has Taught Me
Holding Up the Shield: Faith That Protects You in the Battle of Motherhood
Share This With a Mama Who Needs It
If you know a mama who is tired of waiting and finding herself reaching for relief in a dozen small ways, send this to her. Sometimes the most helpful reminder is that relief was never meant to carry what only God can hold.
Closing Encouragement
You are allowed to be tired. You are allowed to want relief, to enjoy rest, to long for your circumstances to change. Just remember, as I am still learning, that relief is not the same as refuge. Come to Him as you are, and let Him be the refuge your tired heart actually needs.
Love,
Kay
View comments
+ Leave a comment